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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Trending via Instagram:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Live now on X:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Spotted on YouTube:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

1481 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

0

3 months ago

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time
I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

0

3 months ago

banter, character, character comparison, comparison, feel, game, humor, i, lover, Luigi, Mario, playful, playful banter, prowess, raw, relationship, sensual, sensual lover, video, video game
Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

0

3 months ago

actually, anxiety, attraction, attractive, crush, dating, fear, humor, insecurity, OMG, relationship, social, social anxiety, someone, terrifying
Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

0

3 months ago

challenge, couple, driving, humor, parallel, parallel parking, parking, relationship, relationships, stress, test, tested, true, where
The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

0

3 months ago

date, dating, driving, funny situation, humor, me, parallel, parallel park, park, relationship, second, second date, situation, stress, stroke, trying, watching
Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

0

3 months ago

2025, babe, deadline, humor, ok, planning, pressure, q4, relationship, roadmap, work, work pressure
In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

0

3 months ago

bedroom, fan, humor, joke, love, relationship
Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

0

3 months ago

actually, apology, back, communication, hand, humor, mature, maturity, phone, relationship, sorry, texting
Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

0

3 months ago

back, chance, give, humor, i, love, me, meeting, met, never, night, regret, relationship, sarcasm, take
Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

0

3 months ago

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want

For even more funny relationship quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

37 shares on Telegram this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Going viral on Telegram:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Making waves on Instagram:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Just shared via Threads:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Trending via Telegram:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Seen just now on Threads:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Just landed via Instagram:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Activity Log ✨

1481 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨