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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Going viral on Messenger:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Just shared via Facebook:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Spotted on WeChat:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Funny rid quotes

Funny rid quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day 🚗😂 Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway, these witty gems will keep your spirits high and your laughs loud 😆💬 Ready to rev up your mood and fuel some fun? Let’s hit the road with a collection that’s as clever as it is hilarious! 🎉🛣️

New funny rid quotes 👇

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

0

2 months ago

cleanup, couple, declutter, electronic, electronics, humor, okay, organization, past, rid, storage, tech, things
If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

0

2 months ago

connection, dinner, eating, everyone, food, humor, i, know, lifestyle, media, rid, sharing, social, social media
I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

0

2 months ago

accent, am, British, British accent, cold, culture, family, fascination, health, humor, much, rid, royal, royal family, speaking, stereotypes, tea, trying
I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

0

2 months ago

cable, humor, i, money, monthly, only, rid, services, smart, streaming
If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

0

2 months ago

belief, humor, joke, magic, me, money, payment, put, rid, scam, send, someone, spell, think
If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

0

2 months ago

around, chainsaw, consequences, dark, dark humor, ex, hear, humor, nature, relationship, rid, should, still, tree, woods
I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

0

2 months ago

always, door, garage, getting, getting rid, hoodlum, humor, i, meaning, procrastination, rid, shut, stealing, stuff, sure, want

All funny rid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

25 shares on Discord this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

86 shares on Slack this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

73 shares on Threads this month:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Going bananas on Slack:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Shared recently on TikTok:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Going viral on X:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Shared recently on Reddit:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Breaking via Discord:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

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