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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Live now on Pinterest:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Going viral on Slack:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Just shared via X:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Freshly posted on Threads:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

11 Funny ruined quotes

Funny ruined quotes are the unexpected twists that turn classic wisdom into hilarious chaos 🤪✨. When words go sideways and meaning takes a detour, the results are pure comedy gold 💬😂. Ready to laugh at sayings that missed the mark but nailed the humor? Let’s dive into these epic fails that prove sometimes messing up is the best way to make an impression! 🎉🤣

New funny ruined quotes 👇

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All funny ruined quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Trending via X:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Going viral on Reddit:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Just landed via WeChat:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Just shared via WeChat:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

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