Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Just landed via Telegram:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Going bananas on Messenger:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Spotted on Discord:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Just shared via YouTube:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

39 Funny speed quotes

More funny speed quotes 👇

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

4 weeks ago

allowed, driving, enjoyment, fun, good, humor, music, playing, rules, should, speed
Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

1 month ago

arts, brother, bruce, Bruce Lee, comedy, faster, humor, joke, lee, martial, martial arts, older, speed, sudden, Sudden Lee, wordplay
I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

1 month ago

anxiety, body, body language, fine, humor, language, leg, reaction, shake, speed
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

1 month ago

camera, diet, driving, fasting, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, joke, speed, speed camera, traffic
Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

1 month ago

fast, humor, joke, play, play on words, quickie, secs, speed, time, words
Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

1 month ago

anxiety, fast, fitness, health, humor, metabolism, speed, wish
The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

1 month ago

boyfriend, casino, date, dating, dating joke, event, every, funny event, gambling, hosting, humor, joke, just, local, needs, new, problem, relationship, relationship humor, speed, speed date, woman
Time needs a speed limit.

1 month ago

humor, irony, life, limit, needs, philosophy, speed, time
November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

1 month ago

ago, date, days, humor, joke, lesbian, moving, November, relationship, speed, three, time
Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

1 month ago

enemy, faster, humor, me, observation, rivalry, same, sidewalk, sorry, speed, thinking, walking

For even more funny speed quotes, hit next 👇

All funny speed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Facebook this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

72 shares on Discord this month:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

50 shares on Slack this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Just landed via Slack:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Just shared via Threads:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Making waves on Messenger:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny speed quotes

More funny speed quotes 👇

All funny speed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨