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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

8 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Spotted on Slack:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Live now on X:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Reported on Reddit:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Spotted on X:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Home » Funny Store Quotes » Page 8

73 Funny store quotes

More funny store quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Commentary:
"Life's real test of toughness isn't facing the mob, it's finding where they hid the avocados now 🥑🕵️‍♂️ #GangsterGroceryStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Commentary:
Looks like your horoscope is just as reliable as that jam-packed shopping list you had for the closed supermarket! 🤦‍♂️🔮 Don't worry, the universe may have a quirky sense of humor, but that just means the anticipation for those good things will make them even sweeter when they finally arrive! 🌟✨
6 months ago
Share →: If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Commentary:
"Want to know the most expensive item in a store? Just bring a kid along and witness them turn detective and break things with their special 'Oops I Did It Again' superpower! 💸🕵️‍♂️🚨 #KidDetective"

For even more funny store quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny store quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

8 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Just landed via Twitch:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Just shared via X:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

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