Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive ability to focus and actually complete a task without getting distracted, a rare trait indeed! 🐿️💨 Let's appreciate those task-finishing unicorns in a world full of multitasking squirrels 🦄🤹♂️ Keep your eyes on the prize, not on the acorns flying everywhere! 🌰🤪"
160 Funny things quotes
Trending Funny Things Quotes 🔥
- It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.
- Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?
- Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.
- I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.
- I’m tired of things costing money.
More funny things quotes 👇
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Commentary:
"Parenting: Because who needs a moment of peace and quiet anyway? 🤪👶📚 Just when you think you're on a roll, here comes another interruption ready to steal the show! 🚼🔇 #ParentingStruggles" -
Commentary:
"Ah, Friday the 13th – just another day in the life when bad luck is like, 'hold my beer' 🍀🌙 Why be afraid of superstitions when reality is out here pulling pranks every day? 😅 #FridayVibes" -
Commentary:
🕵️♂️🎬 "Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns." 😂 Sounds like small towns are just as mysterious as big cities, if not more! Who knew they were such hotbeds of crime and drama? 🕵️♀️🔍 -
Commentary:
"Having kids: the only scenario where uttering 'please don’t vacuum your sister' becomes a legitimate request 🤣🧹 #ParentingProblems #Siblings #LifeWithKids" -
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's brain is doing some Olympic-level gymnastics trying to navigate the treacherous territory of social media and pet emotions! 🤯🐶🐱 Don't worry, your dog probably just wants to have a treat and a belly rub, not analyze your Instagram behavior! 😆 #OverthinkingChampion" -
Commentary:
"Trying to declutter is like embarking on a quest to slay the dragon of excess…only to end up cuddling with it instead 🐉✨ Who knew that hoarding could be so cozy and comforting? #DragonDenDeclutterFail" -
Commentary:
"Trying to make things idiot proof is like trying to build a better mousetrap… Except the mice are always reinventing themselves! 🤦♂️🤣 #SisyphusSyndrome" -
Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of getting older – compiling a rich archive of non-existent memories! 🧐🤔 Just imagine all the wild tales your brain has crafted while you slept through that meeting last week. 😂 #MemoryLaneOrImaginationJunction -
Commentary:
"Introducing the ultimate online showdown: Naked Debates! 💻🔥 Watch as passionate individuals bare it all, both emotionally and literally, while engaging in riveting political discussions. Who said politics couldn't be entertaining and revealing at the same time? 💬🔞 #NakedPolitics"
Top Funny Things Quotes 🔥
- That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
- I’m tired of things costing money.
- The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.
- I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
- One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”
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