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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Live now on Telegram:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Going bananas on Discord:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Shared recently on X:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Just landed via Facebook:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dear music, thanks!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

265 Funny things quotes

Funny things quotes are all about those little moments that make life unexpectedly hilarious! 😄💫 Whether it’s random objects that turn into the ultimate distractions, or the things that never seem to go where you left them, these quotes remind us that sometimes the smallest things bring the biggest laughs. Life is full of surprises, and most of them are pretty funny! 😂🎁🌀

New funny things quotes 👇

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

24 minutes ago

activity, fun, i, internet, know, people, scream, screaming, spend, things, time, wonder
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

1 hour ago

alone, alone time, childhood, childhood memory, ever, girl, hanging, i, introvert, late, late night, little, loved, memory, myself, night, night owl, owl, personal, personal time, reflection, self, self-reflection, staying, stuff, things, thinking, time
Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

1 hour ago

animal, frog, got, humor, joke, naming, right, things
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

2 hours ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong
Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

3 hours ago

anytime, frustration, gap, generational, generational gap, grasp, i, learning, new, new things, parent, parents, something, technology, things, used, why, wonder
The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

3 hours ago

battle, battles, better, choreography, conflict, conflict resolution, dance, dance battle, gang, humor, nostalgia, resolution, settled, street, street gang, things, world
Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

4 hours ago

change, chaos, couch, here, home, humor, i, mix, new, over, relaxation, sit, sitting, sitting spot, spot, things, thought, today
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

4 hours ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday
I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

4 hours ago

apology, communication, distraction, frustration, humor, i, misunderstanding, multitasking, noise, noises, said, same, sorry, things, time, too
Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

5 hours ago

calendar, crying, emotion, humor, i, know, mood, needs, nonsense, over, period, PMS, sensitivity, things

For even more funny things quotes, hit next 👇

All funny things quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

17 shares on X this month:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Trending via Reddit:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Shared recently on WeChat:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Making waves on Slack:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

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