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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Spotted on X:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Trending via Instagram:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Just shared via Instagram:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Making waves on Telegram:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Funny treats quotes

Funny treats quotes bring a sprinkle of sweetness and a dash of laughter to your day 🍩😂 Whether you’re craving a silly snack moment or just need a chuckle with your chocolate, these witty lines are sure to satisfy your funny bone 🍫😄 Ready to indulge in some tasty humor? Let’s dive into the deliciously funny world of treats that’ll make you smile from ear to ear! 🎉🍪

New funny treats quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats
People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, bribe, child, children, chore, chores, doing, here, humor, just, myself, own, people, raising, self-motivation, treat, treats, trying
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

0

2 months ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love
Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

0

2 months ago

activity, animal, animal behavior, behavior, cats, following, funny activity, give, humor, humorous, humorous quote, kitchen, me, meowing, pet, pet humor, spend, today, treats
I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

0

2 months ago

always, bad, deserve, good, humor, i, motivation, routine, self-care, self-indulgence, self-love, simply, treat, treats, week, weekly, weekly routine
Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

0

5 months ago

appearance, boy, cutting, everyone, hair, haircut, hairstyle, humor, nickname, office, special, teasing, thing, treats, work, worst

All funny treats quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

36 shares on X this month:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Just landed via Twitch:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Breaking via Messenger:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Spotted on TikTok:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Going viral on Threads:

Your opinions are not my business.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Just shared via X:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

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