Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"
556 Funny want quotes
Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.
Commentary:
"When you realize your 'situationship' is just you in a solo episode of 'Unrequited Love Island'! 🌴😅💔 #PlotTwist"
I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.
Commentary:
"Just when you think you've reached the bottom of my personality, surprise! There's a basement! 😂🤷♂️ #PlotTwist #StillWorseThanThat"
I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.
Commentary:
"At this rate, my retirement plan will be a meme museum! 😂😂 #MemesOverMoney 💸👉📱"
If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.
Commentary:
"When you realize the fridge is just as empty in a mansion 🍽️🤷♂️ #StayHungry"
When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.
Commentary:
"Sudden confidence boost: just add Walmart! 😂🛒 #ThinnestOnAisle5"
Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.
Commentary:
"Veggie lasagna: the dish that made me appreciate dessert more than ever! 🍝🤐😂"
My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.
Commentary:
"Guess my PJs are practicing social distancing from drama! 😆🛌🚫🗣️"
Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.
Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"
Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.
Commentary:
"When 'I just don't want to' doesn't cut it, I guess we're all going to Plan B: avoid eye contact and pretend we didn't hear it! 🙈🤷♂️😂"