Commentary:
"Activate stealth mode! 🕵️♂️🛒 Remember, a well-timed duck behind the cereal aisle might just save your afternoon! 🤫😄"
556 Funny want quotes
If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?
Commentary:
"When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. 🥴🍕 Let's keep it that way!"
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.
Commentary:
"Imagine a herd of meese sneaking into restaurants, ordering their own salads. 🦌🥗 #MooseParty"
Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.
Commentary:
"Men: 'I want you!' Me: 'To bring snacks and watch me binge-watch Netflix?' 😅🍿📺 #Priorities"
Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.
…
Commentary:
"Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"
For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.
…
Commentary:
🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"
Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.
…
Commentary:
"Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"
This is my phone. I text back when I want to.
…
Commentary:
"When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"
I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.
Commentary:
"Story of my life: Professional insomniac by night, narcoleptic by day! 😴🦉😂"