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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,014

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Making waves on WeChat:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Going bananas on X:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Just shared via Instagram:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Trending via WeChat:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Making waves on Twitch:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Spotted on Threads:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're on a quest to explore the ancient art of daily takeout! 🍜🤣🥢

again, China, Chinese, Chinese food, culture, eating, food, girlfriend, got, humor, i, joke, relationship, repetition, sense, think, time, today, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

0

2 months ago

confusion, good, greeting, humor, me, morning, response, sarcasm, where
Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

0

2 months ago

enough, everyone, except, good, humor, i, me, mood, morning, morning mood, sarcasm, sleep, tired, wake, wake up
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

5 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

0

2 months ago

accident, crime, date, humor, joke, me, playful, relationship, romance, trust, well
Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

0

2 months ago

aging, check, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, fun, getting, getting old, i, life, me, memory, old, photos, someone, texts, yesterday
Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

0

2 months ago

finance, free, free time, humor, i, irony, leisure, money, spend, spending, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

84 shares on Slack this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

74 shares on Slack this month:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Just shared via Discord:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Live now on LinkedIn:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Trending via Facebook:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Shared recently on Discord:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Going bananas on X:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Just shared via Messenger:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨