Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Broadcasted on X:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Trending via WeChat:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Just shared via Slack:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Spotted on Slack:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Just landed via TikTok:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Trending via WeChat:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, a workout routine I can stick to! 🛋️📱💤 #ProcrastinationChampion"

adult, adult life, adults, couch, couch potato, humor, humor quote, i, ignore, ignoring, ignoring problems, laziness, life, phone, phone usage, play, potato, problems, procrastination, run, sit, usage

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

0

2 months ago

anything, expectation, humor, interaction, people, problem, relationship, things
I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

0

2 months ago

affection, child, funny moment, humor, i, love, moment, old, pants, parenting, toddler, wish, year
ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial intelligence, ChatGPT, content, content creator, creator, downtime, frustration, hear, humor, listen, right, scream, screaming, technology
We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

0

2 months ago

age, age joke, aging, avoiding, avoiding young people, comedy, humor, joke, just, people, sarcasm, young, younger, youth
IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

0

2 months ago

activity, date, humor, IKEA, meltdown, place, public, public place, relationship, Swedish, word
I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

0

2 months ago

chance, group, humor, i, ignored, ignoring, interaction, large, large group, love, niche, niche reference, reference, references, sarcasm, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on X this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

24 shares on Discord this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

96 shares on X this month:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

21 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

39 shares on Discord this month:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

91 shares on Discord this month:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Going bananas on Threads:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Breaking via Twitch:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Breaking via Messenger:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨