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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Going viral on Reddit:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Breaking via Discord:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Breaking via Telegram:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Freshly posted on X:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Just landed via Facebook:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

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I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.
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Commentary:
Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! 🌱😂🪴

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

30 shares on Threads this month:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

63 shares on Slack this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Shared recently on Threads:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Being strange is exhausting.

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending via Twitch:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

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