Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Just landed via Twitch:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Going viral on Discord:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Spotted on Threads:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Trending via TikTok:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Trending via Reddit:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

2 months ago

0

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of balancing gratitude and entitlement – like a seesaw of emotions! 🙏🏼➡️😈 Just remember, too much thankfulness might lead to a sugar rush of positivity! 🍭 Today, let the ungratefulness and entitlement flow like a river of sarcasm! 💁🏻‍♂️💅🏼"

actually, attitude, balance, entitlement, even, going, humor, i, irony, little, thankfulness, today, too, ungratefulness, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

0

2 months ago

adventure, dog, expectation, ghost, ghosts, humor, ID, life, mystery, point, solving, thought, unmasking, van
It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

0

4 weeks ago

advice, coach, confusion, Earth, experience, first time, humor, life, life coach, new, new experience, time, why
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

0

2 months ago

age, age gap, aging, every, gap, hell, humor, inside, nostalgia, older, person, reflection, self-awareness, wondering, younger, youth
The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

0

2 months ago

adulting, aging, humor, i, lifestyle, motivation, older, procrastination, self-awareness, things, want
I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

0

4 months ago

beating, better, conversation, dead, dead horse, friendship, girl, girls, horse, humor, i, letting, love, never, night, nothing, peace, rehash, rest, Saturday, Saturday night
Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dumb, humble, humor, intelligence, interaction, people, personality, play, play dumb, psychology, reveal, self-awareness, smarter, social, social interaction, stay, think, truly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

19 shares on X this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy the time between diapers!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Breaking via YouTube:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Spotted on TikTok:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Just shared via Reddit:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴