Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the bold confidence in the face of rejection! 💁‍♂️ Who needs love when you have an unwavering belief in your own awesomeness? 🤣 Clearly, some hearts just can't handle all this fabulousness! 💔 #ConfidenceGoals"

entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

0

2 months ago

depot, DIY, home, Home Depot, humor, joke, man, masculinity, real, surgery, vasectomy
Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

0

2 months ago

again, broken, funny observation, humor, i, nature, observation, rain, sky, thing, thought, weather, weird, well, yellow, yellow thing
I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

0

5 months ago

car, flying, flying car, humor, i, single, skepticism, technology, transportation, trust
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

0

2 months ago

humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

0

2 months ago

always, entertainment, fun, honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, listening, truth
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

39 shares on Twitch this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Going viral on Slack:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Just landed via X:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨