Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Freshly posted on X:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Just shared via Facebook:

I would like even faster food.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Spotted on WeChat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

0
I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Awooga! Guess my inner cartoon character couldn't handle the wardrobe malfunction! 😂🚨

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

79 shares on Discord this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

74 shares on Discord this month:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

43 shares on Threads this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

56 shares on X this month:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Broadcasted on X:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Spotted on Messenger:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Going viral on Threads:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴