Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Going viral on Twitch:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Breaking via X:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Breaking via Threads:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Seen just now on Slack:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Just landed via Discord:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I've advanced to a professional-level sitter! 🪑😂 #SitAndSip"

expression, humor, humor expression, humor quote, i, just, laziness, relaxation, sarcasm, sit, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, age, anywhere, going, going out, humor, i, never, parents, understand, understanding, wanted, where, why, work
“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, answer, asked, beautiful, beautiful woman, dating, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, job, job interview, situation, social, social situation, weakness, woman, women, workplace
It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

0

2 months ago

cleanup, couple, declutter, electronic, electronics, humor, okay, organization, past, rid, storage, tech, things
If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

0

2 months ago

documentary, humor, life, murder, success, take, win
That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

0

3 months ago

conversation, conversations, distraction, focus, got, half, head, loud, mind, missed, moment, music, relatable, restart, song, too
Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

0

2 months ago

adventure, bird, birds, close, cloud, days, drinking, eating, excuse, flew, humor, i, joke, message, rain, skydiving, sorry, stuck, survival, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Just landed via Instagram:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Shared recently on Slack:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨