Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,844

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Trending via Reddit:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Just shared via Reddit:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Listen to my body? But it's the same body that thinks six donuts is a balanced meal! 😅🍩🍩🍩"

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

1 month ago
alligator, angry, bra, comparison, funny comparison, humor, i, middle, never, same, sports, sports bra, struggle, summer, taken, thing, wet, wrestling
The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

2 months ago
clever, double, finance, hold, humor, joke, mirror, money, quick, wealth, wit
I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

1 month ago
airplane, aviation, bird, cooler, flight, flying, humor, i, think, whimsical, wings
Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

1 month ago
activity, bar, date, funny activity, gently, humor, nightlife, picking, picking up, setting, women
To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

1 month ago
animal, cat, Catfrica, cats, eat, humor, hungry, i, joke, pet, tell
Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

7 days ago
around, brain, brains, diarrhea, everyone, going, humor, just, mouth, nonsense, place, talking, vomiting, whatever

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Making waves on Telegram:

I ain’t typing “X” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Just shared via Facebook:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Just landed via Slack:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏