Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Making waves on TikTok:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Breaking via Threads:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Trending via TikTok:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Trending via Instagram:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Just landed via Threads:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Just landed via YouTube:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Going bananas on Slack:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about finally stopping mortgage payments but still owing a lot.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream, where the house is kinda mine and my wallet is officially free! 😂🏡💸

adulting, debt, finance, humor, i, joke, just, last, lot, money, mortgage, mortgage payment, paying, payment, sarcasm, still, yay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

78 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

73 shares on Twitch this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Shared recently on Discord:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Making waves on Slack:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Trending via WeChat:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Going viral on TikTok:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Going viral on Facebook:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨