Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,797

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Spotted on Instagram:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just landed via Messenger:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Just shared via YouTube:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Live now on TikTok:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Breaking via TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Just shared via Threads:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Waiting for the day when Teams introduces the 'virtual karate chop' emoji to keep us all in line! 🥋🙈 #DisciplineInTheDigitalAge"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

0

1 day ago

animal, animal emotion, butterfly, emotion, fall, feel, feeling, human, humans, humor, love, stomach
Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

0

2 months ago

apart, fall, fall apart, humor, irony, life, perspective, reality, self-awareness, together
For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

0

2 months ago

attention, birthday, celebration, detail, everyone, humor, i, love, me, much, request, tell, want, why
I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, chef, cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, i, kitchen, later, meal, pan, recipe, something, staying, take, tell
Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

0

2 months ago

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit
When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

0

2 months ago

child, childhood, humor, i, nature, network, nostalgia, outside, play, social, social network, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

53 shares on Slack this month:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

85 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

14 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Trending via Messenger:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Trending via Discord:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨