Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Live now on X:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Going viral on WeChat:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Breaking via Snapchat:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting ready to stuff myself with turkey and lots of "Joe Briden" debates 🍗😂🦃

bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

2 months ago

activity, humor, month, outdoor, outdoor activity, package, pay, premium, premium package, seasonal, subscription, summer, wasp
Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

2 months ago

better, bicycle, buy, car, cry, crying, happiness, humor, irony, materialism, money, sports, sports car, wealth
Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

3 months ago

am, education, finish, humor, i, irony, learning, life, me, struggle, student
When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

2 months ago

back, confusion, directions, giving, humor, i, irony, just, lost, love, me, miscommunication, miss, navigation, someone, tell, travel, wrong
Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

2 months ago

avocado, food, food joke, German, guacamole, humor, joke, just, mashed, mashed potat, potat, potato
When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

5 months ago

friend, friends, humor, i, interaction, notice, pretend, religion, religious, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Trending via Threads:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Spotted on X:

Sane is boring.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨