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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Spotted on Facebook:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Breaking via Messenger:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Trending via Slack:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Going viral on TikTok:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Going viral on Instagram:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Witty quote about jokingly mispronouncing politicians' names during Thanksgiving gatherings.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Getting ready to stuff myself with turkey and lots of "Joe Briden" debates 🍗😂🦃

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just shared via Discord:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Spotted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Just landed via Telegram:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Broadcasted on X:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Breaking via TikTok:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

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