Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,960

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Trending via Telegram:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Just landed via Slack:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Earth is hard.

Spotted on Threads:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they're celebrating Independence Week! 🎇💥🇺🇸

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

6 days ago
awkwardness, cool, crush, ever, humor, just, love, obsession, over, person, relationship, sex, tried, unrequited, unrequited love
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

1 month ago
advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom
Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

1 month ago
DIY, every, floor, humor, i, loose, maintenance, odd, screw, think, thoughts, time
I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

1 month ago
afford, cutbacks, employed, employment, financial, financial struggle, hire, humor, i, irony, job, job market, market, me, money, right, self, self employment, self-employed, struggle, thinking
Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

1 month ago
advice, bed, behavior, both, doctor, family, health, health advice, humor, instinct, jumping, jumping on the bed, know, live, monkey, monkey instinct, playful, playful behavior, said, wife
I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

1 month ago
again, change, disappearance, disappeared, humor, i, irony, love, nature, seasonal, spring, weather

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Just shared via Discord:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Trending via Messenger:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Breaking via Messenger:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

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Activity Log ✨

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

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My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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