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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Making waves on Messenger:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Live now on X:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Trying to beat a pig at its own game? You'll just end up with a snort coming out on top! 🐷💪😄

advice, dirty, humor, likes, metaphor, never, pig, wrestle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, car, driving, hit, humor, i, irony, joke, left, mishap, next, note, parked, parked car, time, warning
Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

1 month ago
call, calls, distracting, everyone, finds, home, humor, office, outside, singing, video, video call, work, work from home, Zoom
You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

1 month ago
act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned
I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

1 month ago
80s, ambition, Congress, hit, humor, i, politics, retirement, run, running, wait
Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

2 months ago
aisle, aisles, around, confusion, everyday, everyday life, gangster, grocery, grocery store, humor, life, store, struggle
Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

4 months ago
always, August, beginning, Halloween, holiday, peak, season, spooky, summer, summertime, thin, veil, wild

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Making waves on Discord:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Breaking via Slack:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

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Activity Log ✨

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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