Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Breaking via Snapchat:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Seen just now on Facebook:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Just landed via Slack:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Pasta Whisperer 🥳🍝 #OnceInALifetime

achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

0

2 months ago

around, communication, confusion, emoji, expression, fashion, feel, feeling, humor, i, idea, know, outfit, wear, women
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

adult, asking, aspiration, career, child, children, dream, grow, growth, humor, idea, want
I have more trips planned than I have money.

0

2 months ago

budget, finance, humor, i, money, planned, planning, travel, trip
Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, found, i, just, matter, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, work
There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

0

2 months ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still
Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

0

2 months ago

across, awkward, awkward moment, being, communication, disapproving, disapproving look, distraction, finish, humor, moment, phone, relationship, room, thing, typing, wife, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Just shared via Threads:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Trending via Messenger:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Going bananas on Discord:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Just landed via Slack:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Live now on Facebook:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Trending via TikTok:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨