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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Just shared via WeChat:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Going viral on X:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Live now on WeChat:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

15 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Pasta Whisperer 🥳🍝 #OnceInALifetime

achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

1 month ago
activity, advice, ask, doctor, eat, fun, fun activity, God, greek, Greek god, health, health advice, humor, imagination, oranges, planets, pretend, right
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

1 month ago
afford, bill, color, different, expense, finance, humor, i, irony, pay, same, sarcasm, well
I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

2 months ago
aspiration, back, bra, concert, fame, humor, i, just, onstage, performance, rich, run
Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

4 months ago
chic, classy, crash, crying, diva, driver, drivers, driving, keep, lane, little, next, over, something, while
If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

3 months ago
aging, beard, beard grooming, facial, facial hair, gray, gray beard, gray hair, grooming, hair, hit, humor, joke, self-care
At the job interview with one AirPod in.

1 month ago
AirPod, etiquette, headphones, humor, interview, interview etiquette, job, job interview, multitasking, tech, workplace

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Trending via Instagram:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

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Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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