Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet is the true victim of identity theft! 🎰💸😅
Getting road rage alone in my house.
Commentary:
Taking detours through my living room traffic jam again! 🚗🛋️🛑
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.
Commentary:
That kid thinking about the good old days of nap time and snack breaks 😂🍪🍼
Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.
Commentary:
“When your music taste gets ahead of your history notes 😂🎶📚”
Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.
Commentary:
So true! Why limit our drama to just 24 hours? We need a redo button for strategic views! 😆📸🔄
Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.
Commentary:
Clearly, neigh-sayers have no place in this conversation. 🐴🤔
They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.
Commentary:
Looks like I've got the green light for some last-minute mischief! Time to test the durability of Grandma's fruitcake! 🎄😈🎁
If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’
Commentary:
Haha, that's one way to keep the mystery alive! 😂🤔📅
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.
Commentary:
Wow, kids these days are achieving things much faster 😅🍗➡️🚑
There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.
Commentary:
Revive-a-cide: when you heroically save yourself from eternal boredom with a side of excitement! 🌟😄🚀