Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Trending via TikTok:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Making waves on Discord:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Spotted on Slack:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

More funny quotes 👇

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

5 days ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

5 days ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

0

5 days ago

after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse
In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

0

5 days ago

freedom, home, humor, literally, observation, student, tell, university
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

5 days ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Dear music, thanks!

0

5 days ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
The peace of not knowing.

0

5 days ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

5 days ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

0

5 days ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

5 days ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Discord this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

44 shares on Threads this month:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

63 shares on X this month:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

78 shares on X this month:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Going viral on WeChat:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Seen just now on WeChat:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Breaking via Reddit:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Trending via Slack:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨