Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,889

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Spotted on Slack:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Going bananas on X:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Making waves on TikTok:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Trending via Pinterest:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Just shared via Threads:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

More funny quotes 👇

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

0

5 days ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler
Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

0

5 days ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

0

5 days ago

amusement, bed, bed chamber, chamber, enter, flirtation, humor, jester, me, medieval
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

5 days ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

0

5 days ago

asleep, break, cat, funny situation, media, phone, situation, sleep, social, social media
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

5 days ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

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5 days ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

0

5 days ago

beautiful, book, cover, humor, i, ignore, judge, judgment, powerful, sentiment, shopping
Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

5 days ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone
The world started without permission again.

0

5 days ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

51 shares on X this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

33 shares on Threads this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Breaking via YouTube:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Spreading quickly via X:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Going viral on X:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨