Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it. Posted onMay 19, 2026
If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one. Posted onMay 19, 2026
If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive. Posted onMay 19, 2026
My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated. Posted onMay 19, 2026
They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood? Posted onMay 19, 2026
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup? Posted onMay 19, 2026
Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too. Posted onMay 19, 2026
The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult. Posted onMay 19, 2026
If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh. Posted onMay 19, 2026
It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go. Posted onMay 19, 2026