Commentary:
Same here! I'm all about those adventures from the couch with "Netflix and definitely no chill" 🛋️📺😴
I have more trips planned than I have money.
Commentary:
Planning trips like a millionaire, budgeting like a college student! 💸✈️😅
Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.
Commentary:
Achieving Olympic-level self-restraint, one unspoken comment at a time! 🤐🏅😂
Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.
Commentary:
Looks like my auto-reply is on vacation too! 🌴📧✈️
I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.
Commentary:
Forget travel dates, my wallet sets the itinerary! 🤑🗺️🍕
This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.
Commentary:
"Just in case of a high-noon showdown with the reflection sheriff! 🤠🔫😆"
Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.
Commentary:
Trying new things in 2023: Limbo champion at the bead curtain farm 🐴🚫🏆
Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.
Commentary:
Lucifer finally asking for advice? Next, you'll tell me cats are forming committees. 😈🐈⬛📚
Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?
Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when you could plan a whole meal during a song download… 🍕📥😅
Absurdity is the spice of life.
Commentary:
Just when you thought your life was bland, a heaping spoonful of absurdity turns it into a comedy casserole! 🍜😂