Commentary:
Balancing my inner Tarzan with my outer office zombie life! 🤪🦍📧
My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.
Commentary:
I'm convinced Time Travel exists, but only in my optimistic morning routine 🚀⏰😂
Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.
Commentary:
Guess I'll just start responding with "Still alive!" and leave it at that 😂👍
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.
Commentary:
Sure, I'm ready for an alien invasion with popcorn in hand. 👽🍿 Let's spice things up a bit before the apocalypse!
Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.
Commentary:
When I tried a ponytail, I just looked like a medieval squire 🏇😂
My middle finger salutes you.
Commentary:
That's one way to give someone a standing ovation with a twist! 😆🖕🎉
I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.
Commentary:
Finally, subtitles that don't treat my ears like they're playing a never-ending game of telephone! 🎉👂😂
We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.
Commentary:
Why support a favorite team when you can support a favorite couple? 🍸🏝️ #LoveGoals
Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.
Commentary:
Hooray for tech – now procrastination has a turbo mode! 🚀😂⌛
I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.
Commentary:
Why stop at orc? Add some Red Bull and become a full raid boss! 🧃🐉