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Counting coffee in single digits feels too modest. I'm sure it's just an infinite loop with extra pep! ☕️😄🔄
I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.
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Feeling like I've already mastered the art of staying still for millions of years! 🦖🧘♂️😂
They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.
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Instant six-pack abs by simply putting down the donut? Sign me up! 🍩➡️💪😂
I had a marvelous time ruining everything.
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Sounds like you won the gold medal at the Chaos Olympics! 🏆😂🎉
I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.
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Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics 🏆🎬📺🎮!
4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!
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Someone's trying to go viral with their sneezes! 🤧📈 #SneezeGoals
Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.
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Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving! 🙃⏰✨
At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.
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Therapist: "How are you today?"
Me: "Let's not sweat the small stuff. Or the big stuff. 😂🤷♂️🛋️"
If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?
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Can someone point me to the ATM that dispenses "confusion cash"? 💸🤔😅
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.
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Eyebrow plucking: the ultimate test of male courage! 😂👨🦲🏹