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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,001

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Making waves on YouTube:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Making waves on Threads:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Spotted on X:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Trending via TikTok:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Making waves on YouTube:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Shared recently on Slack:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! Because my boss would probably send an email saying, "Good news! We've transitioned to remote work… indefinitely! 😊💼💣"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

0

2 months ago

am, else, enjoying, everyone, ex, here, humor, i, independence, just, life, own, own life, relationship, single, someone, someone else, where, wondering
I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, ever, found, humor, i, me, sarcasm, single, stress, technology, think, well, work
“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

0

2 months ago

bed, cat, humor, i, insurance, joke, let, life, life insurance, pet, put, sarcasm
Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

0

2 months ago

ceremony, final, final rose, humor, rose, rose ceremony, roses, sarcasm, thank, thank you
I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

0

2 months ago

back, Back to the Future, Doc, excitement, exciting, future, humor, i, just, looks, man, me, movie, movie reference, reference, relationship, something, want
Being alone is my favourite way of being.

0

4 months ago

activity, alone, being, being alone, favorite, favorite activity, favourite, introvert, personal, personal space, self, self time, solitude, space, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Discord this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

100 shares on Threads this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

70 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite color is money.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

17 shares on X this month:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Shared recently on Slack:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just shared via Slack:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Just shared via Discord:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Just shared via Telegram:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Making waves on X:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Spotted on Twitch:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨