Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,888

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Seen just now on Slack:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Just shared via Slack:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Breaking via Instagram:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Going viral on Slack:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Trending via Facebook:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Breaking via Facebook:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! Because my boss would probably send an email saying, "Good news! We've transitioned to remote work… indefinitely! 😊💼💣"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

0

2 months ago

ban, fitness, gym, humor, joke, me, sauna, saying, Scotty, steam, times, too, wordplay
The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

0

2 months ago

face, Facetime, humor, iPhone, joke, pun, steal, stole, technology, thief, time
It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

0

2 months ago

access, always, conspiracy, crash, government, humor, military, places, UFO, weird, weirdness
Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

0

2 months ago

carefully, casual, casual dining, choice, dining, fast, fast food, food, food humor, food joke, humor, joke, McRib, pairing, quirky, quirky choice, wine, wine pairing
If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

0

2 months ago

boundary, car, comfort, driving, elbow, humor, little, middle, passenger, personal, personal space, piece, riding, space, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

75 shares on X this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

48 shares on X this month:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

86 shares on X this month:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Going viral on Slack:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Trending via Telegram:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Freshly posted on X:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Spotted on Threads:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Going viral on WeChat:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Going viral on Discord:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Just landed via TikTok:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Breaking via WeChat:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨