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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Breaking via TikTok:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Live now on X:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Breaking via X:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Trending via Messenger:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Trending via Instagram:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your day took a gap year and never came back 😂🕒📅

apology, bad, bad day, bad year, bro, day, distraction, having, humor, just, sorry, year, zoning, zoning out

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

2 months ago

back, before, bring, button, experience, feature, feature request, humor, i, just, media, needs, read, refresh, refreshed, request, social, social media, starting, technology, tweet, Twitter, user, user experience
If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

2 months ago

12, 1970s, 1980s, 80s, anything, humor, i, keith, Keith Richards, Marlboro, Marlboros, million, resilience, richards, smoking, survival, survive
Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

2 months ago

adventure, again, being, escape, expensive, free, getting, health, humor, lost, mental, mental health, never, seen, therapy, wilderness, woods
I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

2 months ago

celebration, drink, fun, humor, lighthearted, merry, party, tispy
Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

2 months ago

back, carefully, chest, emotion, feelings, fold, heart, humor, i, inside, irony, metaphor, place, romantic, self-awareness, taking, vulnerability
Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

2 months ago

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Making waves on Slack:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Trending via Slack:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Live now on Reddit:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Spotted on Telegram:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨