Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,047

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Going viral on WeChat:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Just shared via WeChat:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Just shared via Reddit:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your day took a gap year and never came back 😂🕒📅

apology, bad, bad day, bad year, bro, day, distraction, having, humor, just, sorry, year, zoning, zoning out

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

0

5 months ago

act, always, animal, animal behavior, behavior, best, celebration, context, dog, dogs, excitement, good, happiness, idea, joy, just, matter, party, pet, ready, something, start, thing, too
I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

0

3 months ago

change, changes, control, electronics, everything, humor, i, joke, just, pun, remote, remote control, technology, universal, universal remote
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

0

2 months ago

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone
If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

0

2 months ago

am, fear, Halloween, holiday, humor, i, joke, over, scare, scared, spooky, still, why
My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

0

2 months ago

bar, dog, expectations, greet, home, humor, i, impossible, should, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

72 shares on X this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

87 shares on Discord this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

12 shares on Threads this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

73 shares on X this month:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Trending via Telegram:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Going viral on Threads:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Just shared via Reddit:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just shared via Facebook:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨