Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Going bananas on Discord:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Just landed via WeChat:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Spotted on YouTube:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, my brain's still running on dial-up! 📡🧠😅"

apology, back, bandwidth, buffering, communication, delay, humor, media, social, social media, sorry, technology, text, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

0

2 months ago

again, daily, daily life, decision, fall, humor, i, jeans, life, lifestyle, morning, morning routine, over, parkour, routine, struggle
You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

0

2 months ago

bed, bed sheet, end, experience, funny experience, hotel, humor, kicking, know, leg, leg strength, own, power, sheet, strength, unexpected, unexpected power
Some people get it. Most people don’t.

0

2 months ago

difference, humor, insight, most, people, understanding
Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

0

2 months ago

acting, again, awards, drama, humor, i, life, morning, nomination, once, Oscar, performance, self-deprecation
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

0

2 months ago

complain, condemn, criticize, fool, humor, irony, self-awarenes
Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, follow, humor, i, Litterboxd, oh, pets, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Making waves on Facebook:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Just landed via Threads:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Freshly posted on X:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Just landed via Discord:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Trending via Messenger:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Spotted on Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨