Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Just landed via Messenger:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to pick the lesser evil: the couch potato version of harm reduction 😂📺📱

addiction, better, comparison, health, humor, media, phone, smoking, technology, television, vaping, vs

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

0

2 months ago

advice, buy, cake, celebration, hear, humor, i, indulgence, know, motivation, need, needs, occasion, special, special occasion, treat
My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

0

2 months ago

brain, concern, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guessing, headache, health, health concern, humor, lack, malnutrition, medical, medical humor, migraine, poor, posture, sleep, stress
Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

0

2 months ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, eaten, ending, expectation, fairy tale, fairytale, fantasy, humor, i, irony, plan, still, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, wolf
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

0

5 months ago

appearance, attractive, attractive person, fair, good, humor, jealousy, people, person, skill, talent, things, unfair
The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

0

2 months ago

figure, health, humor, important, intelligence, irony, less, mental, mental health, self-awareness, smarter, think, thinking, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Discord this month:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

24 shares on Messenger this month:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Trending via Messenger:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Breaking via Facebook:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Just landed via Messenger:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Going viral on TikTok:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Trending via Telegram:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Spotted on Discord:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Trending via Threads:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨