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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Spotted on Threads:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Trending via Discord:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🤘🎤 Just warming up for my world tour in the shower! 🚿🎶 #RockStarLife"

activity, concert, concerts, coworker, coworkers, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, meeting, meetings, need, save, talk, telling, today, voice, weekend, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

0

2 months ago

comedy, critique, entertainment, fast, Fast and Furious, film, furious, humor, making, movie, sarcastic, stop
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

0

2 months ago

cycle, fun, humor, life, routine, waiting, weekend
I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

0

2 weeks ago

hope, humor, i, kiss, kissing, lips, longing, miss, missing, next, relationship, romantic, wish, year
“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, beverage, drink, food, food humor, gravy, humor, i, me, okay, situation, trying, well
Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, blocked, blocked nose, breathing, having, health, humor, irony, life, nose, perspective, things
Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

0

2 months ago

bag, bottom, company, design, flaw, flour, humor, packaging, paper, paper bag, product, product flaw, seal, sell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

17 shares on TikTok this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Going viral on Twitch:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Just landed via Instagram:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Going viral on Instagram:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Going bananas on Slack:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Trending via TikTok:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Live now on Telegram:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨