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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🤘🎤 Just warming up for my world tour in the shower! 🚿🎶 #RockStarLife"

activity, concert, concerts, coworker, coworkers, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, meeting, meetings, need, save, talk, telling, today, voice, weekend, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

1 month ago
before, chocolate, diet, food, humor, indulgence, much, question, salad, too
Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

2 months ago
cream, dad, family, guilt, honesty, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kids, me, parenting, rest, snack
Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

1 month ago
biter, hug, humor, interaction, joke, me, next, reaction, sarcasm, say, social, social interaction, someone, time
The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

2 months ago
cheat, education, ex, exam, humor, i, school, study
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

1 month ago
computer, humor, idiot, mean, professional, sarcasm, technology, user, word
College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

1 month ago
bible, college, escape, even, frustration, here, humor, life, me, once, somebody, student, student life

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Spotted on Threads:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Just shared via Threads:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

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Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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