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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Just landed via Telegram:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Breaking via Slack:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Seen just now on Discord:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Just shared via Instagram:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

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Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a romantic comedy 🍿😂 Just make sure to add a lot of plot twists and maybe a "lost in translation" moment for good measure! 💌📉

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

97 shares on Slack this month:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Spotted on Threads:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

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