Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why watch the news when you can get all your worldly wisdom from a dancing cat gif? 🐱✨ #Priorities

communication, cool, figure, going, humor, information, media, meme, memes, news, social, social media, through, Twitter, watching, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

0

2 months ago

attractive, attractiveness, aviator, confidence, fashion, humor, men, science, wear
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

0

2 months ago

age, attitude, humor, issue, life, matter, mind, over, perspective, wisdom
I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

0

2 months ago

actor, comedy, doubtfire, famous, found, i, kids, mrs., Mrs. Doubtfire, nanny, robin, Robin Williams, surprise, time, whole, williams
Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, drug, drugs, game, good, humor, jokes, just, name, naming, oh, prescription, prescription drug, pretty, random, randomness, Scrabble, sounds, sure, word, word game
Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

0

2 months ago

almost, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, eating, food, humor, lifestyle, relatable, self-deprecating
Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

0

2 months ago

car, construction, cornfield, deer, driving, forgot, front, humor, jump, just, life, lot, Midwest, people, quirks, regional, regional quirks, road, road construction, rural, rural life, sick, small, small town, thinking, town, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Facebook this month:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

34 shares on Slack this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

34 shares on Threads this month:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

71 shares on WeChat this month:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

14 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Just shared via TikTok:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Going viral on Discord:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Spotted on Instagram:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Just landed via WeChat:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨