Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

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My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

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The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

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Never trust a wet fart.

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If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

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It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

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I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

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I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

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I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

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Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.