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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spotted on Slack:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Breaking via X:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for self-care: emotional unloading, napping, and carbs! 🍕😴🎬

care, dump, friendship, health, humor, invitation, mental, mental health, movie, nap, order, over, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care, take, trauma, trauma dump, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

3 weeks ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

0

5 months ago

celebration, end, every, fashion, holiday, humor, need, summer, sundress, woman, women
I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state
I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

0

2 months ago

balance, grudge, holding, humor, i, irony, know, myself, psychology, scale, self-image, weight
Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, birthday, birthday party, celebration, depot, fun, fun activity, home, Home Depot, humor, men, over, over 40, party, should, store, stores
My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

0

2 months ago

advice, coach, failure, humor, i, life, life coach, me, motivation, self-improvement, sports, team, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

37 shares on Slack this month:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

58 shares on X this month:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Making waves on WeChat:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Making waves on X:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨