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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Just landed via Slack:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Live now on Pinterest:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Just shared via Slack:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Making waves on Messenger:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Going viral on YouTube:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Spice up your life: your crush on Ginger says you're hot-headed, and a Sporty crush means hiking on the first date! 🌶️🥾🤣

90s, attraction, culture, dating, girl, humor, identity, lot, most, music, nostalgia, personality, pop, pop culture, relationship, someone, spice, Spice Girl, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

0

2 months ago

always, ask, belief, believe, confidence, course, faith, God, humor, i, important, irony, me, people, say, self-belief, spirituality
Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

0

2 months ago

activity, concert, concerts, coworker, coworkers, excuse, fun, fun activity, humor, i, meeting, meetings, need, save, talk, telling, today, voice, weekend, work
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

0

2 months ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

0

2 months ago

dad, funny situation, humor, lineup, police, recognition, situation, sneeze
I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, anxiety, check, every, fun, fun activity, humor, i, love, minutes, passport, travel
Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

0

2 months ago

appetite, burger, date, food, frustration, fun, humor, release

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

70 shares on Slack this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

85 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

70 shares on Discord this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Just landed via Facebook:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Spotted on Twitch:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Freshly posted on X:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Trending via Instagram:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨