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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Shared recently on X:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Spreading quickly via X:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Shared recently on Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time travel irony: Where we're going, we need scrunchies and cassette tapes! 🚀🎶🕺

80s, 80s movie, back, decade, future, humor, movie, nostalgia, past, time, time travel, today, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

0

2 months ago

hearing, humor, i, ID, log, log off, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, tired
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

0

2 months ago

cognitive, funny thought, head, health, humor, inner, inner voice, introspection, little, mental, mental health, mind, quirky, read, self-awareness, thought, using, voice, weird
Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

0

2 months ago

different, humor, hurt, jewelry, losing, loss, pain, relationship, sentiment, type
Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

0

3 months ago

going, humor, motivation, overthink, procrastination, thinking, wake, wake up
Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

0

3 months ago

5, five, five years, funny response, good, good listener, humor, interview, interview question, interviewer, job, job interview, job interviewer, listener, me, question, response, strength, time, where, year’s, yourself
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

39 shares on Threads this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Breaking via Discord:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Shared recently on TikTok:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Just landed via Discord:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Shared recently on Slack:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Shared recently on Threads:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨