Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Just landed via Discord:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Making waves on Instagram:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Seen just now on Discord:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

More funny quotes 👇

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

0

1 month ago

chaos, cosmic, cosmic tornado, humor, irony, job, jobs, life, live, satire, sure, tornado
Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

0

1 month ago

arts, arts and craft, business, craft, crafts, Etsy, failed, failed business, farmers, farmers market, humor, market, millennials, satire, shopping, should, unloading, vegetables
Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

0

1 month ago

5, 9, 9 to 5, cosmic, daily, daily grind, floating, grind, humor, irony, reasonable, rock, sounds, space, work
Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

0

1 month ago

apocalypse, crossing, dating, fingers, four, Four Horseman, fun, horseman, humor, irony, joke, single
I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

0

1 month ago

bieber, cleaning, household, humor, i, name, novelty, pet, pet name, robot, robot vacuum, technology, today, vacuum
I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

0

1 month ago

adventure, blindly, comedy, dodgy, dodgy situation, Hobbit, humor, i, misadventure, risk, situation, situations, walk, walking
Aura is the real business card.

0

1 month ago

aura, business, business card, card, confidence, first impression, impression, personality, professionalism, real
The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

0

1 month ago

casual, comfort, comfortable, cozy, downtime, feet, foot, foot up, highlight, leisure, me, me time, putting, relaxation, self-care, slipping, something, time, weekend
College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

0

1 month ago

bottle, campus, college, humor, humor quote, independence, just, laptop, life, resilience, student, student life, study, water, water bottle, world
Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

0

1 month ago

born, forced, frustration, group, group work, hell, humor, interaction, irony, office, office humor, raised, sarcasm, sarcastic, say, social, social interaction, stupid, work, workplace

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

63 shares on Discord this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

61 shares on Slack this month:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Seen just now on Slack:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Just landed via Discord:

Netflix & by yourself.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via Threads:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨