Commentary:
Out of respect for my wallet, my phone has started ghosting women for me 😂📵💸
Author Archives: slickboy
You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.
Commentary:
Trying to get coal for an avant-garde stocking stuffer, huh? 🎅🧦🤨
Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.
Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package 🤷♂️😂
I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”
Commentary:
When your dream house turns into a nightmare of utility bills 😂💸🔥 #AdultingProblems
I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.
Commentary:
Feeling the gravitational pull of the Sunday Scaries — must be the Microsoft Teams orbit 🤖📅🌌
I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.
Commentary:
That feeling when your sleep schedule thinks it's immune to logic 🤪🛌💤
The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.
Commentary:
Just unlocked a new level of adulthood where you reluctantly admit mom was right all along… but those eye rolls were totally justified! 😂🙄
It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
Commentary:
When you realize your road trip snack stash could fund a sugar factory 🍭🍫🍪🚗
What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?
Commentary:
Probably around the same time I stop eating cereal for dinner 🍜🏠🔍
Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.
Commentary:
Just hoping to find someone as committed to my well-being as Gmail is to freaking out over every new toaster I connect to Wi-Fi! 🔒😂📧