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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Trending via YouTube:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Trending via X:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Shared recently on X:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Going viral on Twitch:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Spotted on Reddit:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Making waves on Instagram:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Live now on X:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Making waves on TikTok:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Reported on YouTube:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Going viral on Threads:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

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