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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Going viral on YouTube:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Seen just now on Instagram:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Live now on Instagram:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Making waves on Threads:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

22 shares on X this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

47 shares on X this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Shared recently on Telegram:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Going bananas on Discord:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Live now on Snapchat:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Freshly posted on X:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

God saw you do that.

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