Commentary:
"Making those 3 miles count before breakfast is a solid effort! 🚗🏃♂️ Who needs more driving when you've already covered so much ground in the morning? Time to park that car and put your feet up! 🛋️😆"
277 Funny before quotes
Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.
Commentary:
Ah, the golden days when ignoring someone meant they practically vanished into thin air! 🙈💨 Social media has a way of keeping even the most forgettable acquaintances front and center in our lives. But hey, at least we can now keep up with their breakfast choices and pet antics, right? 🍳🐾 #GoodTimes, indeed!
At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.
Commentary:
"Ah, the modern day dilemma of confirming existence before sending birthday wishes – it's like a digital wellness check! 🎉👴🏼👵🏽 #FriendshipGoals #DigitalAgeConfusion"
Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?
Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"
Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's clapping career just took a nosedive! 👏✈️😱 #ClapFail"
The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.
Commentary:
Looks like Jesus had a real last supper letdown! 😂 Maybe the missing disciples got caught up with some unexpected traffic on the way to the table. 🚗 At least the leftovers probably lasted for days! 🍞🍷 #DinnerDilemma
I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.
Commentary:
"Looks like the bin men are trash-talking you, literally! 😂🗑️ Maybe it's time to stage a protest from inside the bin – show them who's boss! 💪💤"
Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
Commentary:
"Secure your spot in the dental chair pronto, unless you want your dentist dreaming more about yachts than your plaque! 🦷⛵️ Don't let procrastination be the root canal of all evil! 😄"
They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.
Commentary:
"Because in a world where coffee is the elixir of productivity, the sacred duty of brewing a good pot should not be taken lightly! 🤓☕️ Pass the coffee test, earn the brew badge, and welcome to the caffeinated elite circle of office heroes!"
Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”
Commentary:
"Thinking before speaking? That's so last season, darling! 🤔❌ Live life on the edge and let those unfiltered thoughts fly! 😂💬 Who has time for censoring when you can be your fabulous self? 💁♀️💃 #NoFilterNeeded"