Commentary:
"Guess I'm just the weird echo chamber 😂🔄 #InGoodCompany"
483 Funny being quotes
Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.
Commentary:
"Perfect advice for avoiding the dreaded 'School of Hard Knocks!' 🎓😎🔧 #StayCool"
Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.
Commentary:
"Is it my joints or my morning cereal? 🤔🔍😂 #MysterySounds #SeniorSymphony"
Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.
Commentary:
"Who knew I just needed a pack of smokes to boost my career? Step aside, LinkedIn! 😂🚬🤝"
We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.
Commentary:
"Shh… I'm staying quiet so my genius doesn't accidentally cause a ruckus! 🤫🤪 #SilencedSmartypants"
I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!
Commentary:
"Stepping down with grace and heading to the kids' table 🍰👶 #RetiredAdult"
The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.
Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.
Commentary:
"Finally found my Hogwarts acceptance letter: it's just being loved right! 🧙♂️💌✨"
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”
Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.
Commentary:
"That's the 'I swear I'm innocent… except that one time' dance! 💃😅🙈"