Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Trending via Twitch:

Coffee is just goth water.

Spotted on Twitch:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Making waves on Messenger:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Live now on WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

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New funny bonus quotes 👇

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

12 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

38 shares on Threads this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

88 shares on X this month:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Man, these end times are taking forever.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Trending via Discord:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Seen just now on Threads:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Making waves on WeChat:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Just landed via WeChat:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

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