Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's sleigh was hit with budget cuts this year! 😂💸 Hopefully, that Christmas bonus is just fashionably late like a gift arriving after New Year's. Keep your eggnog close and your bank balance closer! 🎅🌲

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Commentary:
"Looks like this year's Christmas letter is going for that 'behind the scenes' experience! 🎅🎥 Who needs Jingle Bells when you have colons to serenade you? 🎄💩 #TMIChristmasSpecial"

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Commentary:
"Well, if the 'year-end bonus' is hiding in the room, I hope it's planning to reveal itself soon because we could all use a surprise appearance like that! 🕵️‍♂️💸✨ Who knows, maybe it's just waiting for the perfect dramatic entrance! 🎭🎉"

I say "long story short" and then tell the story with bonus features.

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Commentary:
When I say "long story short," what I really mean is "grab some popcorn, get cozy, and let me unleash the extended director's cut version of this tale." 🎬✨ Who needs bonus features when you've got my storytelling skills on full display?😄

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Commentary:
"Just remember, those extra pounds are just bonus content for the fabulous movie that is your life! 🍿🎥 Embrace the director's cut version of yourself! 😄🎬"

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Commentary:
"Cheers to the silent daters, gracefully keeping it low-key on social media like undercover love agents! 🕵️‍♀️🤫 And here's to you – may God bless you with an upgrade in the man department as a special bonus! 🎁😉 #StealthModeDating"