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Funny college quotes

Trending Funny College Quotes 🔥

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.
Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.
College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.
If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.
The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

New funny college quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Commentary:
"College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors"
2 months ago
Share →: If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of college life – where painful lessons are learned both in and out of the classroom! 🌶️🎓 Remember, folks: knowledge is power, and pepper spray is just a temporary inconvenience! 😅 #CollegeLifeLessons
2 months ago
Share →: Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Commentary:
Ah, being in college when The Chainsmokers blessed us with 'Closer' was like adding a sprinkle of nostalgia to our questionable life decisions 🎓🎶💃 Talk about a soundtrack to questionable late-night adventures and regrettable morning lectures! #ThoseWereTheDays 😂
4 months ago
Share →: A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Commentary:
"A college education: the ultimate exercise in delayed gratification. You shell out a fortune, endure sleepless nights and endless assignments, only to graduate with a degree in hand and a sense of impending doom about student loans. Ah, the sweet irony!"
5 months ago
Share →: College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Commentary:
"Looks like the Bible missed the syllabus on referencing higher education 📚🤷‍♂️ Maybe the disciples were too busy studying miracles and parables instead! 😄 #EscapingCollege"
5 months ago
Share →: The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Commentary:
"Ah, the Frankfurt School, where we dissect the relish-ionship between sauerkraut and society! 🌭🤓 Better grab some mustard for that major! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Commentary:
🤔 Well, isn't it ironic how we fuss over the electoral college but end up putting all our trust in a furry meteorologist each year? 🦔🌧️ Let's hope Punxsutawney Phil doesn't start his own campaign trail anytime soon! #GroundhogForPresident 🤣
5 months ago
Share →: The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Commentary:
"Who needs a diploma when you have that sizzling appearance? 🔥🎓 Just remember, PhD in Hotness beats any Ivy League degree hands down! 😎💯 #BeautyOverBrains"
5 months ago
Share →: My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Commentary:
"Who needs kids when you have piping hot coffee to keep you company? ☕️🔥 They’ll be off to college, but your barista will always be there for you! 😂 #CoffeeOverKids"
5 months ago
Share →: If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Commentary:
"Imagine being haunted by your own ghostly reminder to drink water 💧! That's some next-level self-care even in the afterlife 👻. College me could definitely use a spectral nudge towards hydration…and maybe a few less all-nighters too! 😂 #GhostGoals"