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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,233

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Trending via Reddit:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Just shared via Reddit:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Live now on Slack:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Just landed via TikTok:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

27 Funny comfort food quotes

Funny comfort food quotes bring a smile to every foodie’s face 🍕😂 Whether you’re craving cheesy pizza, gooey chocolate, or crispy fries, these witty sayings celebrate the joy of indulgence 🍔🍩 Get ready to laugh, drool, and feel all the cozy vibes as we dive into the best bites of humor and heartwarming yum! 🍦😋 #FoodieFun #ComfortEats

New funny comfort food quotes 👇

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

0

3 weeks ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow
Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

0

3 weeks ago

better, cheese, comfort, comfort food, cooking, feeling, feeling feral, feral, food, mac, mac and cheese, mood
Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

0

1 month ago

comfort, comfort food, comparison, food, food comparison, humor, little, pillow, pillows, pizza, pizza roll, roll, rolls, snack
Garlic bread is my therapist now.

0

2 months ago

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist
Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

0

2 months ago

bar, comfort, comfort food, eating, emotional, emotional support, food, humor, just, purse, self-care, snack, Snickers, support
Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

0

2 months ago

again, comfort, comfort food, food, gravy, humor, humorist, love, mashed, mashed potat, met, potat, relationship, soulmate, today
Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

0

2 months ago

anyone, bad, bad mood, cheeseburger, comfort, comfort food, food, food humor, free, humor, humor quote, lift, mood, mood lift, should, snack
The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, eat, food, fun, fun activity, happiness, key, order, pizza, repeat
I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cold, comfort, comfort food, feeling, food, food anxiety, fridge, good, humor, late, late night, night, sleep
Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

0

2 months ago

cold, cold day, comfort, comfort food, cozy, day, days, embrace, even, food, food love, found, hot, humor, love, peace, pizza, warm, warm embrace

For even more funny comfort food quotes, hit next 👇

All funny comfort food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

73 shares on TikTok this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

51 shares on X this month:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,453

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Trending via X:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Breaking via TikTok:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Trending via Threads:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Going viral on X:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Just shared via WeChat:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

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