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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,916

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Shared recently on Threads:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Trending via Threads:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Spotted on Slack:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Live now on Twitch:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Just shared via Reddit:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

13 Funny cooky quotes

Funny cooky quotes 🥳 bring a sprinkle of joy and a dash of silliness to your day! Whether you’re baking up a storm or just craving a laugh, these quirky sayings 🍪 will tickle your funny bone and brighten your mood. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some flavor to your feed, get ready to giggle and grin with every bite of humor! 😄✨

New funny cooky quotes 👇

For even more funny cooky quotes, hit next 👇

All funny cooky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Instagram this month:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

87 shares on Discord this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

50 shades of single.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

22 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,915

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Seen just now on Discord:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Just shared via Messenger:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

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